A Peace of My Mind

A Therapist’s Guide to Handling Anger and Other Difficult Emotions

Anger is the most powerful and destructive of our emotions. Properly handled, it can motivate and empower us. Inappropriately unleashed, it can destroy lives and relationships. This manual is your complete reference for how to effectively manage your anger, so it does not manage you. Written in an eminently readable style, by a husband and wife team with more than 20 years’ combined experience in the field of anger management, A Peace of My Mind is filled with real-life examples that help illustrate the most common problems resulting when anger is handled destructively and the rewards you might expect for learning and practicing a few simple skills that will change your life!

How to manage difficult and painful emotions in ways that put YOU in control of your reactions.
What you need to know about brain function that will help you respond positively to emotionally upsetting events.
Why taking time away from an upsetting event enhances our ability to deal with it in a positive manner.
Why it is important to know that anger is a “secondary emotion”.
Relationship skills that bring you closer to your partner and lead to a happier, more fulfilling relationship for both of you.
How to take care of yourself if you have a partner who struggles with an anger problem.

What others are saying about A Peace of My Mind:

“The Berrys’ Anger Management Program has provided a valuable service to our community assisting those with anger problems to make positive changes to improve their lives and relationships. Now everyone can benefit from the simple wisdom of these important concepts outlined in a straight-forward understandable manner in A Peace of My Mind.”

--Don Vogt, Former Unit Supervisor, Wisconsin Division of Corrections

“A must-read for all those whose anger is causing problems in their lives and relationships—and for those who love them!”

--Dr. Robert A. Dickens, Psychiatrist

“Anger is a double edged sword which can help or hinder us depending on how we use it. A Peace of My Mind: A Therapist’s Guide to Handling Anger and Other Difficult Emotions is an easily accessible and user-friendly self-help manual that will help readers learn to handle difficult and painful emotions that help you keep control of yourself, why cool off time helps us so much, and some relationship skills to help you and your partner live a happier life together - and there’s even more than that. A Peace of My Mind: A Therapist’s Guide to Handling Anger and other Difficult Emotions is an inspired and inspiring tome that can help its readers a great deal. Both Self-Help and Psychology community library shelves should have this guide.”

--James Cox, Midwest Book Review

“A new book on anger management? Sounded like a bore...but what an interesting book it turned out to be. I reached for my yellow marker and read paragraphs to my wife. We talked about them as she worked with Photoshop on her computer.

The chapter on stress is excellent. Anger management depends a lot on stress management. But what is stress? How can we recognize it? How can we best cope with it? These questions are handled in a way that engages the heart. “It’s not stress that kills us, it’s our reaction to it.”

In the chapter, "Battle of the Sexes," a tremendous wealth of helpful information is given on how men and women differ and how we can learn to live with each other. Our minds work differently, we solve problems differently, we speak to each other differently, and we express anger differently. As the authors tell their anger management groups, “The only person’s behavior you should be trying to control is your own.”

Much of the book is about relationships: communication styles, living together as partners, jealousy, forgiveness. There’s a wonderful chapter subtitled “Help For Partners of Angry People.” It’s going to save some lives.

For me, the chapter, “Calming the Beast Within: The Task of Emotional Regulation,” is my favorite. It’s right down-to-earth. Events happening to us precede our thoughts, which precede our feelings, which precede our actions. The angry person can learn to intercept his negative thoughts with “replacement thoughts” chosen to defuse and de-escalate his typical feelings and actions. Of course, it’s not easy or automatic. But a person can learn about the impact different parts of his brain have on his reactions. And he can learn to get the right part of his brain in gear. So practical.

The authors helped me see that, “Often the angriest person in the room is merely the one with the greatest hurt.” Anger is a secondary emotion, stemming from hurt, fear or frustration. I’m not an angry man myself, but so much of this book was for me. I learned a lot--things I can use at home and at work. I hope anything I ever write is as helpful as this book!”

--Rod Harrington